Old Chinese Woman

I love to be a woman, and am proud to be Chinese. To become an old Chinese woman is a different matter. Any China Town in big North American towns is full of the faces of this particularly unsightly species. It's very depressing to realize that I have no power stopping myself from becoming one of them.

I don't normally feel so terrible about myself. But I started to experience allergy in the fall these days. My eyes are so itchy and I feel my skin is all wrinkled and dry... "An old Chinese woman coming through..." I said to my friend Abby when I saw her in the evening. Right there and then, an image even worse than an old Chinese woman emerged in my mind.

Ok, I will not have sagging breasts because I don't have much of them anyways. I will not have a sinking butt and sticking-out stomach because I won't allow an ounce of extra fat in my body. When it comes to eating habit, I have a will of iron, if not steel.

What to worry then? The irony is that, when you run into me in China Town and look at me from behind or on my side, you might not think I am one of those old Chinese women. Only when you look at my all wrinkled face, you realize you look at someone worse. A freak? A body of child with an all wrinkled old face!

So this has been my nightmare. Oh, all so depressing. I guess I don't have more serious things to worry about at the moment. And one has no right to complain if she only worries about getting old , or even becoming an old Chinese woman.