Major Hurdles

As I try to direct my mental focus on the subject of psychology, two major hurdles became apparent. First is the weakening memory. Admitting this might sound like admitting aging. My friend sent her comforting explanation all the way from Paris: It’s just “our heads fill up with trivia and other futilities.” Whatever the cause, I constantly try to figure out what the last page was all about when I read.

Second is the language, ironically. I find myself constantly trying to find the English equivalence for the words and expressions in my Chinese textbook. Not that my English is so good already that I forgot my Chinese. But I haven't dealt with Chinese in the book form for most of my adult life.

I don't know how to get there. But I know I will. Will power is totally overrated in my case. I will get there by being lazy, walking in circle, looking for shortcuts, beating myself up -- my ways of praying.