decision made for, decision made by

i heard an interesting complaint relayed to me over the weekend from a 18-year-old boy. he was already 3-A hocky player when he turned 13. but life was so busy and boring as practice took up too much of his time. the boy wanted out. with much hesitation, his parents respected the decision made by him and let him quit. now a grown-up, he questioned them, "why did you let me quit hocky? at that age, how could i make a sound decision on my own?"

we all hate a domineering parent, hate to to be one and of course hate to bear the name of being one. a lot of people growing up in china tend to liberate themselves from their past by liberating their kids. to what extend though? this story seems to give us a point of reference if not a definite answer.

we don't make a decision once for all, as to free them or not to free them. it's about a million and half decisions, big and small that you and your kids make, together or respectively. it's the art of balancing. that's what's making child-raising such a fun experiement.