Bribes/Threats -- Every Parent Must Play

One of my internet pen pals on the "mother board" of the baby center, Mama Brenda, has a son Ben who is a day older than Sienna. They have been having issues with Ben as they suspect that he has something wrong associated with autisum spectrum. I tried to convince Brenda that Ben is just an observer. He will catch up once he goes to kindergarden. I don't know what Sienna would have been like if we didn't push her out before she turned 2. Brenda however was not convinced because being a church goer, she cannot be convinced by the astrological knowledge that my statements are based on. Ben started to go to a preschool part time a couple of months ago. And his progress was substantial...

Anyways to cut long story short, Brenda is debating herself today if she should use the tactic of bribes or threats on Ben when he acts up. I said, "Brenda, as parents, aren't we entitled to alternate bribes and threates at our ease?" I mean whatever it works, right? So the whole point is about how we observe our child and judge the different effects our tactics would have on our child.

I have two stories to tell in regard of failing tactics. In one incident, Daddy told sienna to do something and he promised to give her a candy as reward. Sienna replied with no hesitation, "no, candy is not good for your teeth." I gurantee it would have worked right away if this was presented as a threat, "If you don't do it, you are not going to have candies for the rest of the day." And of course, it HAD to be followed through.

In another incident, when sienna was still in the crib. i was trying to get her up and dressed. she didn't want to. i said, "if you don't want to get up now, i am leaving you here all by yourself." so i did. for over 45 minutes, she stayed in her crib in her own room playing alone without making a fuss. I had to give up and went in. Daddy said, "Let's take note for the future, this ain't working."

It isn't anything unethical to find your child's "weak spots" for the sake of building a strong and well-balanced person for the future. Not to do it is very wrong.