the Natural Order of Events

I love reading articles by those ECE (Early Child Education) experts. I love learning from them. Also, I love learning that what they say somehow confirms my common sense & instinct-driven approach. Pasquale Fulginiti pointes out, for example, that we should let our children experience the consequences for the choices they make. In order to become responsible individuals, they need to deal with two different types of consequences: natural and logical order of events.

The two are differentiated by whether the parents intervention exists in the process. A child not eating meal properly could face either logical consequence: receiving certain punishment, or natural consequence: feeling hungry later on. Fulginiti suggested that parents should mix-use these two wisely in order to foster a child's self-esteem, responsibility and accountability. Usually, it's better to let nature run its course...

You see, I have been pondering and practicing these along the way, just not in exact words. If there is a natural way, I don't try other ways. If I have to use logical & intervention, I would attempt to tie it up with the natural way. Usually, these consequences are intertwined. Parents need to create conditions where the natural consequences could stand out and to be felt more strongly. Not only she would be more motivated when her natural sense and ability are tapped. It also saves plenty of time and volumes on my part in lecturing her.

For example, Sienna sometimes misplaces her stuff, a pink heart necklace, a new pad of stickers... she would be upset due to the loss. I would make sure that sense of loss is put into good . I would advise that she take responsibility of her own belongings. I draw a clear line here: this is her problem, not mine. But, hey, mama would love to help look for it. Let it be found or not, at the end of it, she would be naturally grateful to me and a little bit more responsible for herself.

Another example is the food. To me, the one most important element in nurturing a good eating habit is to keep a good appetite, sometimes, it's the feeling of hunger. Daddy and I vowed that we would never force Sienna to eat her food. Basically, if she is not good at eating her food (she usually is a fantastic eater), we would rather let her skip the rest of the meal instead of feeding her with food in between meals. This might sound cruel. But it gives her the chance to experience being hungry. It's natural and healthy to feel hungry. Going through the natural order of events, she would eat properly and timely to avoid the consequence of being hungry.

The logical intervention of the parents would end up realizing a natural consequence. I always set myself as an living example of a good eater. When I introduce her new food, I eat in front of her with a lot of appreciation but not much a demand of making her to try. As it turns out, she will always want to try. She might not like it right away... But I keep eating in front of her... I ate so many grapefruits before she fell for them.

Parenting is such a juicy process especially once in a while, I am assured by the academics and others that I am in fact doing something right...