Dr. Ok

Sienna has an excellent paediatrician. We call him Dr. Ok. He answers "ok" to just about every questions of our concern. Maybe that's why we don't go to visit him that often -- we already know his answers!

Here is an example of his extreme "ok" statement, "At this stage, they grow even by drinking water. Offer them food, but don't force them to eat." And that's where I got my point about food and a lot of other things in raising a child.

I believe, in this part of the world, kids don't get starved. They only get stuffed. If she doesn't want to eat, let her. But only make sure you don't give him snacks to replace his meals. Also kids don't grow evenly throughout the year. They go in and out of grow sprouts. When they are not into serious growing, they might eat less. The important thing is to keep them in a good relationship with food.

The Big Picture

Before the Easter Holiday, my 4-year-old daughter Sienna brought home from her pre-school a finished project: on a black cardboard with some spiral pattern, scattered some balls with different colors in various sizes. Some were already loose and some were still glued on. "Are these special Easter eggs?" I asked. "No, they are planets," answered Sienna. In the most definite manner, she pointed to each of the balls and cited names of the 9 planets.

Last night, she didn't let me stop after I read 8 storybooks about princess, piglets, alligator, Madeline, scarecrow, among other things So I struck a conversation, in English, about the planets. Here is a re-account, word for word. (I find speaking Chinese only with her sometimes limits our scope of communication, although it's something I am still committed to doing.)

Mom: So which is the biggest planet, Sienna?
Sienna: It's Jupiter.
Mom: Which is the smallest?
Sienna: Pluto.
Mom: What planet do we live on?
Sienna: Earth.
Mom: Which planet is closest to us?
Sienna: Mars.
Mom: The farthest?
Sienna: Pluto.
Mom: What do you have to tell me about Mars?
Sienna: It's red.
Mom: What about Venus?
Sienna: It's yellow and beautiful.
Mom: What about Moon?
Sienna: Moon is not a planet, Mommy. But it's white.
Mom: Is Sun a planet?
Sienna: No, sun is a star, a bright bright star.
Sienna: Oh, look, Pluto! (Picking up a small gray ball on the floor, that apparently fell off from her planet project.) Mommy, throw it at me. throw it. It won't hurt. Don't worry.
Mom: (After doing the throwing and missing it.)Which planet do you like the most?
Sienna: Earth.
Mom: Why?
Sienna: Because, because it's the best.
Mom: Is that it?
Sienna: Because, we live on earth. All people live on earth and all children. The winter will go, the spring will come.
Mom: Why not Mars? It's next to the Earth.
Sienna: Mars is too hot, there is no water, Mommy (My watergirl speaking).
Mom: Don't you want to try living on the Moon?
Sienna: No, thanks.
Mom: Why Earth...?
Sienna: No more talk about planets, Mommy, you need to help me do the puzzles.

After having easily score 100 on this mini test, she was apparently moving way from the solar system. She already started doing a 40-piece puzzle and finished it in no time. While we were still talking, she pulled down a box from her puzzle collections on the shelf, "Look, mommy, it's a planet puzzle!" She did the 70-piece puzzle a while ago and now she noticed that it was in fact a 3-dimensional picture of the solar system with a boy wiz flying over it along with his dog. She got so excited over her new discovery of the puzzle. "Let's do it, let's do it, Mommy. Here is the sun, let's do the sun first!"

Chinese has a saying, the mind of a kid is like a blank sheet of paper. You can choose to draw different pictures on it. How about the solar system? What a nice big picture to go in there! Huh? Also, thanks to the Montessori system which insists on making young kids to be more aware of their environment. It's just wonderful knowing that she knows we comfortably reside on a beautiful planet called Earth.

Pink & Purple Streamer

As the next birthday party is nowhere in sight, Sienna decided to take down the her birth decorations in the house. I started to rip the pink & purple streamers off railings of the stairs and got ready to put them in garbage. Sienna had something else in her mind. "I need to roll them up for the party next time," said she. So she sat on floor and started rolling the streamers. Her two little hands alternately padded on each side of the roll, like a serious child worker. She finished 3 rolls and said "Mommy, you do the long ones." I looked at pink and purple mess that I scrumbled together and was amazed she had even gotten this far.

When she was helping Rachel and dad put the decoration on, she was trying to roll back the unused portion of the streamer. She put one side of the stream on the floor while she rolled so she could get the roll back nice and neat. Her ability for problem solving always surprises me.

Running a Motor Home?

Usually, I am a proud wife & mother for running a comfortable home efficiently. Today, since our driver was so drugged by the pain killer and my husband, the substitute driver, needed to take a rest from driving, I found myself face the challenge of driving a motor home.

The 28-feet vehicle was obviously built without someone like me, the 5'4" figure in mind. Here is the proof. I got on the driver's seat with my feet completely off the floor. I pulled seat as close to the wheel as possible. But the back of the seat was still a couple inches away from my back. All the must-read readings by the driver on the panel was blocked by the upper part of the wheel. I tried to feel the the gas panel with my right foot. Only my big toe reached there and stayed there to operate the driving... Some 20 minutes down the road, I decided it was enough for a taste of it.

Despite all these, we came home safe and sound. Lui took our friends to the hospital near our house. He had a minor procedure and was released right afterwards. Rachel stayed with us and Lui also took her to her ballet class. I stayed home with Sienna, bathed her, showered myself and unpacked. The house was put back in order in no time. I even got to peek at "Desparate Housewivies" on TV.

It was not a perfect vacation. But not having a plan for it was not to blame. In fact, we would have been really disappointed if we had a plan to begin with. Every time I leave home, I learn more about how I enjoy my own home. It was more so after coming back from our short trip on a motor home.

The Trip Planned Itself

Sienna busy writing on the motor home
Some people plan deliberately not to have a plan and go with the flow. We simply don't have a plan for this trip. We want to get a taste of living on a motor home. "I don't mind if we get on the motor home and the vehicle stays on the rental company's parking lot..." I joked when we left early afternoon yesterday. We did work on route, somehow. We could go hopping around Lake Eris -- Point Peele, Detroit of Michigan, Cleveland of Ohio, Niagara Falls on the lake and then back in town.

We made it to Point Peele around 6 o'clock last night. The park was closed. We decided to stay overnight in that town. 24 hours later, we made it to Windsor bording Detroit, Michigan. Frustrations however started to emerge:

1) We had to find a place to fill up the water tank. That was not so easy. The rental company told us any gas station would let you fill up the water tank if you fill up your gas tank there. Not true. A lot of gas stations simple don't have a hose. Found a gas station with a hose, but the hose didn't have the proper cap to connect to our tank. The husbands managed to get the water in the tank anyways.

2) The vehicle has an additional heating system, a forced-air furnace that relies on a separate battery unit to work. In the middle of the night, the furnace stopped to work. I woke up freezing cold. Luckily we figured to turn the car on for a couple of minutes so that the furnace battery got recharged.

3) By the end of the day today, one of the holding tank was indicated full. We had to run around town in Windsor looking for a place to dump the waste water.

4) On top of everything else, there is R's pain in the butt, literally. I mean his H situation. What was a minor discomfort has become a major ailment. Poor thing. We ended up in the hospital's emergency later in the evening. The doctor prescribed extra strength pain killer for her and by doing that, he helped to put our driver to sleep. So Lui had to take over. And I, reluctantly, got set ready to go too.

Amidst the problems, we did see the sun jumping out of water in the morning. We only saw sun set on our last trip to a lake site last summer. We also met our old friends in Windsor, the whole family, in our moving living room. The two daughters, 16 and 12, are so beautiful looking. And our daughters, Sienna and Rachel, have been having some amazing times of their lives. Sienna dresses up in her party dress and tirelessly writes on her book and solve puzzles with Rachel.

As far as the food is concerned, we are just as good as eating at home or dinning out. For breakfast, we had egg omelettes with mushrooms, whole wheat bread toast, sausage with soy milk, milk and O.J. All the 4 adults also got our morning caffeine boost from Tim Horton. Lunch was smoked salmon sandwich over fish soup. Dinner was seafood fried rice, green beans and cooked shrimp rings...

By this time, our plan for the trip has finally become clear and definite - we need to get back home in our motor home as soon as the sun rises again tomorrow morning. The good thing about not having a firm plan is that you don't get frustrated when things don't go as you planned.

Hip Hoppers

For me, the truth meaning of any holidays is having days off from work. We don't mind doing something related to the occasion. Like last year, we set our bunnies hopping and hunting for eggs around the house after a dinner party. Or we could hop on a motor home (or a RV) and drive around to a destination unknown, or rather, undecided. And that's what we are doing this Easter holiday.

Together with Rachel's family, we decided about our trip only two days ago. I called the RV rental company to set it up. We started packing everything last night. Until the last minute, we still didn't know where to go. We had a rough idea. What about going to the south most point of the country and then go across the border? It would be the first time for Yiga and Rachel to be in the United States. We would at least accomplish something other than getting on a motor home.

Going on a motor home sounds like a great idea to a reluctant traveller and home buddy like me. Obviously, you take your mini "home" with you, right? Yiga says she is the ultimate vacationer among all of us. Here is her reasoning:

-- R, her husband is the designated driver of the group. He has driven all over the North American continent in his earlier years here.
-- Lui, my husband who is like a kid when he plays with kids, is a perfect baby sitter for her daughter and ours.
-- Me would be the cook at home and therefore on a motor home.

I am also the organizer of the group - that explains why we still don't have a specific destination. I don't have much to complain about stress at home and at work. It feels like I can live forever without altering my daily routine and be happy about it. I don't complain about hopping on a motor home for a vacation like this either. I normally have a happy and hip attitude towards life. Or I am just a happy and hip hopper.

Neighbours

Our neighbour H called me asking if I could help out with his 80-year-old mother on her sewing machine. Interesting how he associates a Chinese lady with sewing. And I happen to be a rare owner of a sewing machine in the Toronto's Chinese community and else where. So I took Sienna over with me after dinner. We had a little tour around their house. I was so curious to see how they have done with their house - the extension, the upgrades -- all inside the stone-exterior walls I must face every day. When I was growing up, neighbours were very important people in our life. Now, they are virtually non-existent. The 70 feet frontage and wider than usual street certainly don't help bringing us closer.

I asked about H's next door neighbour, who was being rolled out on a stretch when I saw him for the first time last October. That was my last time to see him as well. H told me he passed away from cancer a couple of months ago. That is it...

Four Things Around Age Four

Today is the first Thursday after Sienna turned four. I noticed four things that are worth mentioning as they first happened to Sienna.

1) Sienna started to use her palms to catch the tap water and rinse her face like an aduld would do.

2) It was discovered on her very birthday at her dental check up that she had three tiny little cavities on her teeth that need to have fillings done. She was fine on her last appointment in September, 2004

3) She read a complete storybook other than the Phonics series passed on from school. She could recite Madeline and Brown Bear in entirety without looking at the books. That's from her good memory. But for this one, Nancy Carlson's I Like Me, she READS word for word: "I have a best friend. That best friend is me. I do fun things with me. I draw beautiful pictures... When I get up in the morning, I say, 'Hi, good-looking!'... "

4) She scolds her mommy in a much fuller and more expressive way. When I stopped her from opening a present that had a million little pieces, she went:"Mommy, I don't like you. You are not my best friend any more. I will lock you up tomorrow. You are stupid..." She didn't get to open the present. I only pointed out that it was wrong to say those things. I will think of a measure of panelty to deal with it on it's re-occurrences. It's important to give a child a chance to be mean.

A Night Without TV

Sony Trinitron is the one who rocks me to sleep every night. Last night, it failed to do so. It was either too tired and retiring. Or it was playing a serious joke on me. It went blank and dark with "hssss" noise while legal maven or madam Nancy Grace was engaging herself in a heated discussion on case on CNN Headline News. I had to read a new "People" magazine to make it up a little bit. I for one cannot live without a bedroom TV. I have to look into the warranty. We had a junkie RCA that provided satisfying service for over 8 years. Now the most trusted name didn't even last for 2 years? I am still in a state of disbelief - me in bed without a TV!?

Sad News

My colleage A's brother committed suicide last week. He ran his own electrical company and lived in a comfortable home with his wife and three boys aged from 9 to 15. He drove his family to a vacation spot outside of town and came back to work during the week. Then he decided not to return to them. He parked his car in the garage, connected the exhaust to the central vacuum system of the house, and went to bed with the vehicle running. He left a long note to thank everybody in his life. He even left a note on the front door warning "Do Not Enter. Carbon Monoxide Inside."

So so sad. How could life be so stressful for him that he decided death would make him feel better? Or there was some kind of chemical imbalance in his head. This is one of many things that I don't understand. I heard he was so outgoing. Nobody detected any signs. There got to be some signs. People should always watch out for each other. I told my colleagues if ever I die, it's got to be a murder because I wouldn't in a million years choose to die to set myself free to put the loved ones in misery.

Raise Your Voice for a Reason

Sometimes you need to raise your voice when you raise your child.

I raise my voice not because I am mad. It is possible not to lose cool if you are cool with her constantly and consistently. This is not the best way to put it, but if you exercise more discipline during the peace time, you don't got to war with her because she drags you into it. You are at ease to pick your battles. You don't get emotionally effected when she is emotional or not behaving properly. To me, it's not bad to get mad, your child needs to encounter some negative emotional confrontations in order to get immune. It's simply useless to get mad.

I raise my voice because I need to stress the seriousness and urgency. I make sure that I carry in my voice the SPECIFIC instructions that she CAN follow at that moment: 1) what she must do and 2) the consequence of such doing or not doing. More specific, the better.

"FINISH your dinner, otherwise you don't HAVE your snack." If she chooses not to finish her dinner, I don't give her snack. I let her choose. She chose already. End of the story. You say, well, she still doesn't get to finish her dinner, but she gets her consequence. Fair enough.

So I raise my voice to get her into the action or to get her to make up her mind. I don't raise my voice to show her that I am mad. At this age, they know well enough how to make you mad and they don't have all the willingness to make you otherwise.

A Piece of Cake

What's so difficult about having a party? Not when you really enjoy doing it and you are efficient. So, in my case, it's been a piece of cake.

Saturday routine carried out as usual. During the ballet in the morning, I went to pick up a few more items for the decoration and loot bags. During Sienna's Chinese class in the afternoon, I rushed home and got the house in order for the party. Afterwards, the whole family went shopping at Costco and got most of the party food there. At night we went out to eat with Rachel's family until 9:30. Got Sienna to bed around 10:30pm. Rachel came home with us for sleep over because nobody would have the time to drop her off or pick her up on Sunday.

Yesterday morning, I got up around 7:30am. Started making 2 dishes from the scratch - 75 spring rolls & a big pot of seafood (calamari, shrimp & scallops) fried rice. I decided not to have bagel at the last minutes. In between, around 8:30am, I went to give Sienna a bath and got her into her regular clothes. Dad took Sienna and Rachel to have breakfast at MacDonald and to pick up helium-filled balloons. I continued to cook. By the time they came home around 10:45, all was done. I went to take a shower and got Sienna into her Princess dress. Then around I1:25am, I started laying out food and drinks: veggie dip, smoked salmon, shrimp ring, green seedless grapes with tomatoes, then, the chicken nuggets and pizza got heated up. The first bunch of guests showed up right on time at 12:pm. We had 26 adults and kids all together.

They started leaving around 3pm. By the time it was 6:30pm, I was already on the couch, having done with cleaning up and putting away things. Without the decoration, the house would have looked like nothing had ever happened.

Some moms complain they need a vacation after birthday parties like this. Well, for me, this was merely a vacation.

So Much To Have

So we had our party, as planned. When I asked Sienna if she enjoyed it, she had one word to say, "again." And that really says it all.

No matter how we stressed the "no present" policy, Sienna still got them, tons of them. I had a quite privileged childhood. But that part of the world where I was growing up was quite under-privileged relatively at that time. Now, we sometimes stroll at Toy's R Us for hours just to satisfy our own curiosity. We would buy toys because we are fascinated by them. And today we just gushed over the flashy toys that Sienna received as presents. And the floral toilet seat is one of them to match Sienna's orange/yellow bathroom theme.

If there is one thing I want Sienna to take from me, it's got to be my way of enjoying what I have without having to have more. How is this going to be assured while she can have so much more as a child, materially? It's a new challenge. When she was little, I used to keep all the toys out of her reach and gave her one thing at a time. I don't know if that contributed to her ability to concentrate. Now I gave up that control. I keep asking myself what I need to do to ensure that I am still raising Sienna the right way when she is so overwhelmed by all the material things.

I'm Friend of a Pre-teen

Rachel had a sleepover during the middle of the week on Thursday. Her Mom and Dad had to meet some old friends from out of the country. She came back with Uncle Lui after a concert that they went together. According to him, she cried three times on her way back. She wanted to talk to me before bed, I said Ok. I am always honored when kids place their trust in me. As it turned out she was upset because her Mom kept talking to her friends during the concert's intermission but not her when she wanted to... I listened. I said her feelings of being ignored might be justified. I suggested though that she try to "set up appointments" with her Mom when she needs to talk to her. Parents can be so wrapped with their work and life. Babies needs parents' attention whenever they want to. Maybe, as a 10-year-old, Rachel could try to get the attention she wants as a little adult. When you have your mom's undivided attention for 10 minutes, you could complain, request or just speak out... She agreed that she would try.

I told Rachel today that I don't really want to be an auntie. It's too tiring to be an auntie. I don't feel that I am qualified enough to be a role model or anything. So if she can just let me be her friend, that would be great... Rachel is considered to at a pre-teen stage. Things are getting more interesting in her life. I somehow I noticed that since she turned 10 last month. Rachel's Mom joked to me when we were out having dinner together this evening, "Ï am ready to turn her to you..."

What a week!

I was so spaced out for the past few days, from the blogland as well as the real world. In fact, today is Sienna's birthday. And I didn't get to say "Happy birthday" to her yet. Daddy took her for her dental routine and then they went to science center with big sister Rachel to spend the day there.

For the whole week, I have been seizing every moment I had to work on the DVD presentation project for Sunday's party. Required by the software, I hand-picked 100 photos of Sienna's. Every picture was dressed up with fitting patterns and color tones. I didn't created those patterns from scratch. But I had to modify them using image tools. Major progress in my image manipulation! I am so very proud of myself.

A few days of not posting enough, my blog land is kind of disserted. For sienna, the DVD presentation is not going to make much of a difference in her life. It's more about the fun I have learning to do something new. Because I was so obsessed, at times, I was so starved that I could barely walk to get food...

The presentation is DONE, rolling 100 images with a beautiful and whimsical piece of music. I don't care what other people have to say, it's is smashing!

This is one of my favorites.

A Girl of A Kind

Sienna had a little cough last night. I went in to check her. She was awoke. I said, "You can come to sleep with me if you want." She answered, "No, I will disturbe you later."

That's the very kind of girl I am dealing with, quite kind. So I turned on some music for her and exited the room.

Pre. Pink & Purple Party: Part 4

Food:

1) Vegie Platter: baby carrots, cauliflower & broccoli with cream cheese dip
2) Peeled shrimps with seafood dip
3) Bagel with smoked salmon, cream cheese, tomato slice & onions
4) Chicken nugets
5) Pizza
6) Spring rolls
7) Cake

Pre. Pink & Purple Party: Part 3

PowerPoint Presentation:

I had an idea of blending Sienna's selected photos with her favorite music for a PowerPoint Presention to be played at the party. It was so difficult to narrow the photos down to 100 required by the program. Also I have finished putting together pieces that she loved and asked to be played over like 100 times. They ranged from classic to modern, from string music to vocal. To list a few:

Elton John's Lion King
Gloria Estefan's interpretation of "Silver Bell"
Kenny G's 4 pieces
Rave's Belero that she went to bed wtih since infancy
Little Richards Whimsical Works
Mozat's Turkish March
And number of YoYo Ma's master pieces...

The problem is I wound up have about over an hour's music. It's impossible to play the music over 100 photos. I did a calculation. I only need about 15 mins of music so that each photo would stay on screen for about 10 seconds.

So another task is to pick about 1 mins of each 20 something pieces and edit them into one piece of music... Can be done, will be done. Super mommy is preparing for a super pink and purple party...

Pre. Pink & Purple Party: Part 2

Presents:

I got a 14" bike with training wheels for Sienna. Colorwise, it was going to be pink and purple as she demanded. The bike wouldn't be a surprise for her. But how the bike looks like would be. I hide it inside a closet in the basement.

The God Mother asked me to give her suggestion about her present for Sienna. She would kill me if I don't. So I said to Abby, "What about the bike accesseries and helmet?" Those can be a real extravegance.

The God Father's family would be hinted as well because they were asking already. I had something in my mind, something a bit off-beat.

For other people, I stressed again and again they would be doing a favour for us to come celebrate with us. So please don't bring anything. If they have to, get a puzzle for Sienna. She has a huge collection of puzzles and she doesn't mind expanding them.

Pre. Pink & Purple Party: Part 1

People Attending :

8 girls aged at 2.5 to 6 years old including Sienna herself
2 boys aged at 4 to 6 years old
4 big brothers and sisters aged at 10 to 13 years old
13 Adults including ourselves.

Unfortunately, both "God Mother" and her husband and "God Father" and his wife cannot come for the party. I still had to move the party to the noon.
A party of 26 people is only a piece of cake for me. It's about other things that are related to it.

House Cleaning

So we, or they, bought the new house. We, or they, need to sell this old house first. And before it went on the market, it needed to be cleaned up good.

That was what we did last night. We went with a complete set of clearning gears. I spent about an hour and half in the bathroom and had a complete make-over. Dad on the other hand pushed for a complete wall painting in the basement. Sienna was so cooperative, only threw a little fit when she was not allowed to paint the wall. She fell asleep around 12 midnight and we continued to work till 3am. We felt a sense of accomplishement.

I am thinking why my life is never boring. That's because I include other people's life into mine. I don't just get experience from my own life, but the life of others. What's how I see the pragmatic asepct of doing good deeds or helping others. I don't have a God to do these for, just for myself and people around me...

Play With Words

I prepared Sienna a cup of hot chocolate, only moderately sweet. Getting the cup on the table, I said, "Be careful, it's very hot!" Sienna gave me a "what-do-you-mean" kind look and teased, "Mommy, it's HOT chocolate, it's not COLD chocolate, it's not COLD HOT chocolate..."

Someone like Sienna who started using words late and is still stingy with words really knows how to play with them.

The Real Reality Show

If I have the time during the TV's prime time, I would watch all kinds of reality shows. But to me, the real reality shows are on CNN. I know, it's Cable News Network. Do they run any reality shows? Look.

Last Friday, a defendant accused of rape took a gun from a sole deputy who escorted him to his trial. Then he rushed to the court, shot the judge, the court reporter and another deputy. He was then on a run... This was the time when CNN picked up the news and started what I called "a Real Reality Show".

They ran a live coverage around the clock about what was happening from all angles possible interviewing bystanders, victims, victim's families and friends, legal experts... The war in Iraq, the terrorist threat in America, the tsunami aftermath, the economic situatuion, the weather... everything else was put on a halt. Only the commercials were on as intervals to keep the show accompnay.

The "show" had everything that grabs my attention and involves my emotions. It kept me ponder and feel about the personalities of deviants, the suspension, the pains felt for the victims... It didn't interrupt my life. I went on doing what needed to be done. When I came back, there would be breaking news. If I didn't catch that, they will have a run-down from time to time. And watching the run-downs is not boring because new details kept emerging.

26 hours later, Brian Nicolas was captured after killing 4 people and keeping a woman hostage over night. People won. What a relief for our global village! You kind of knew this was going to happen. But all the twists and turns were real time. There is no scripts like for the movies. There is not even plot or set up for the other reality shows. I can hardly pinpoint the location of Altlanta, Georgia. But the power of television took me there. It helped to foster my sense of uncertainty about today's world and somehow numb my emotions about real pain and fear. It's a whole new domain of experience that we have to encounter...

I respect producers and anchors of the network for their devoted journalism. Ideology asides, they are runing the real reality shows as they are covering everywhere under the sun about anything worth the show.

Dad is Sick

My Dad, nick-named "Uncle Handsome" by my mother and others, should be hospitalized. But considering the home envioronment is better for him, for the past 2 months or so, he is chauffeured to the hospital to get intravenous injection everyday.

I feel a bit guilty because I was the one who persuaded him to come for a couple of months stay. He had a very active life prior to their visit here, 3-hour boradroom dancing everyday in the morning to keep his body fit and playing majoh later to keep his mind sharp. He described his life here as being under detention. When everything around house was cleaned up inside and out, he got really bored. So he smoked more...

Years and years of smoking must have taken a toll on him. After he went back to China, first his lung was found infected. He started taking medication. Then the medication started to have side-effect on his liver. Tests after tests, it has been cleared that there was no growth of any kind. Still we are worried. And the worry has been growing again in the past two days.

I have been calling home daily. This morning, I spoke to my sister-in-law. She told me another test result will come out tomorrow. I want to talk to her first tomorrow before I call my Mom because Mom and Dad are always together. A piece of advice from my sister-in-law: just talk to my Mom in a matter-of-fact way. As soon as you start giving the comforting words, she will sob.

P.S. It turned out to be a false alarm. But we are still on guard for any situation.

My Brushing Lady

Last night, I was using a tape roller to pick lint on a jacket. Sienna must have seen a roller brush out of that thing. So she started using it to brush my hair. She called herself the "Brushing Lady." I corrected her, "It's a Hair Dresser." But the "Brushing Lady" ignored it. She gathered everything ready for a complete hair salon scene: blow dryer, hair clips, scissors, water spray, lotions... real or makeshifts.

Then she took out a notebook and started talking to me, "Where do you live? " asked she. I gave her my address. She looked up in the notebook. There we go. she said, "Oh, Look, your hair is too long. You only need a little bit long like that. You're gonna to be so nice and clean. And pretty too, because I am your Brushing Lady." Sienna goes right to work. "Just say 'ouch' if it's hurting you, ok?" ... So at the world's most luxurious spa, I was being completely pampered by my Brushing Lady.

Please note, on top of the term "Brushing Lady" she aptly coined, Sienna also invented the "hair salon notebook." Isn't it a great idea of hers? A hair dresser should take notes like a doctor does and check back on the chart when she sees her client the next time...

Typical Tropical Fruits

It's the International Week at Sienna's preschool. They are celebrating the privileged life of multi-culturalism in our community.

Today, each kid is supposed to bring in some kind of food or fruits, typical of their cultures for everyone else to share. I took Sienna to a Chinese super market last night and got her star fruits and longans. These are two of many tropical fruits that I grew up eating in a coastal city in south east China, except the star fruits were much smaller and the longans were much much bigger...

I am sure the star fruits will amaze the kids. The stars are always part of their play and imagination at this age. Isn't it magical that something of that magical shape is so juicy and sweet to taste?!

I am a bit worried about longans, so-called "dragon's eyes". I hope the kids here won't swallow the cores or get them stuck in the throat. Sienna, on the other hand, was trained very early on to pick fish bone out of her mouth when she encounters one. When the doctor asked me to cut a grape in quarters, I asked her to take the whole and bite them into parts right away. One of the things we do differently in our culture anyways. When it comes to processing the food, we use our teeth and tongue equally as the hands.

We Bought a House...

No, not really. That was only how it felt like last night when we relived the anxioty and the excitement.

We stuck around when Yiga and Raymond were closing a deal on their new house. We went to check things out. "Which year was the furnance? " "When was the last replacement of the roof?" "What was the price they paid? Which year did they buy it?" "What were the other 5 houses sold for in that neighbourhood. " Simple and reasonable questions but crucial in closing a deal.

Call us annoying friends. But we are caring with the best intention. Raymond was still at work. I was at Yiga's right ear and my hubby was at her left ear, making sure nothing get out from the left or right. The agent must have been the most annoyed one. But she kept her poise.

There was nothing wrong that they got their first house at the asking price. The problem was they didn't make an effort to look into it or to bargain. We were pressured (in good ways) and pursuaded so much by our friend Abby and her husband and alike in our house hunting experiences. We are so grateful for what we learnt from them. We were determined to give it back to the community.

The bottom line is, for regular people like us, you should never like a house too much that you have to have it. There were houses that we looked and I still miss even today. Still I like what we have the most. They liked the house, granted. So they wanted to pay whatever it was asked for. We said no. At the end of the day, we got 4 grands chopped off. That is considered a good deal in today's market.

the WaterGirl

There is a movie called the Waterboy starring actor Adam Sandler. Well, I like to call my girl the Watergirl.

Astrologically, Sienna was born a water sign, Pisces, the fish. Her Chinese name means the child of the sea. And we are originally from a coastal city. Any or all of these must have contributed to the fact that Sienna loves to drink: milk, soy milk or simply plain water. She used to drink so much formula as a baby that we worried about possible explosion. She loved milk instantly when introduced to at month 9. She started to drink from a regular water bottle when she was merely over 1 year old. When she was sick, she would hold a water sippy cup day and night, voluntarily. I never have to worry that she would ever get dehydrated. Then she started to love soup of any kind. I hope this doesn't make some mommies envious. I heard some kids just don't take it to liquids as much.

Meanwhile, I still give her very little access to juice and absolutely no access to any pop. Again, no sweet taste butt is encouraged.

The picture shows the WaterGirl uses water bottles to pretend playing "violin."

Addressing Dresses

If you want me to address the issues of raising a 3 to 4-year-old daughter, the thing about dressess would first come to my mind.

Even since Sienna turned 3-years-old, it is dresses all the time, day and night, sleep and awake. She was already awakened for pretty clothes long before that. I anticipated the problem of obsession long before that. So I set up a rule. No dresses during the week days. Only over the weekends. "It is not convenient to climb up the slide or go on a swing..." I justified my ruling. Then I met the teacher who said, "Oh, of course she can wear a dress to come to school."

With an intention of being a good and reasonable parent, I lifted the "week day dress ban" suddenly and completely. And there was no going back. The problem is there aren't many dresses available at the store for winter wear. And we have a good supply of hand-me-down clothes that includes a lot of pants. I cannot support her obsession all the way.

So we got this on-going negotiation started about what to wear on a daily basis. She learnt to check the weather on channel 24. A snowy day is a dress day, according to Mommy. Any numbers that has a "-" in front of it is not looking good for dress either. Wearing dress could also be a reward for her good behavour. Another thing is which dress to wear.

I try my best to outguess her likes and dislikes. Not too difficult to do anyways. Pink always wins. Flower the runner up. At certain point of time, I will have to say "no." She will take it.

My friend Sandra told me around 6 and 7, girls like Sienna will grow out of this girlie girlie stage. I feel I had enough fun with this already.

Birthday Wish

As the big day is approaching, I said to Sienna, "You need to have a birthday wish prepared..." Immediately, she took over the coversation, "I wish my birthday is today. I'll wear my pretty dress, decorate my house and have all my friends for a big party..."

Cast No Doubt

My friend G has been carrying out a cold war with her hubby for a long time. On Sunday, she went with her teenage daughter to visit a hospital lab. There they were taught how to put on a cast when somebody had a broken bone. So G's daughter made a cast on G's wrist and G came home with the cast on. The daughter told her Dad that Mom had a fall and broke her bone. So the husband went ahead to make a cup of tea for the wife.

The act of this sort is considered quite miraculous around the household. It won't have happened without the false report. It indeed revealed some truth about where his heart is placed.

How to Make a Surprise No More?

I picked up a cake for Daddy's birthday and told Sienna to keep quiet about it. She was very happy to cooperate. We were both expecting how pleasantly Daddy would be surprised. Then I had a little fight with her about something that she wanted and I didn't want to bend on giving. I don't remember what. She started doing "I don't like you, I like Daddy" routine, which didn't work as usual. Then she surprised me by saying, "Now I am going to tell Daddy about the cake. It's not gonna to be a surprise any more." She still didn't get what she wanted. But she sure could be naughty, uh?

I like it when Sienna gets naughty. First of all she doesn't get naughty very often. Secondly, when she does, her smartness shines through just like when she is well-behaved.

I'm Aunt Nosy

Beautiful Saturday morning with a clear sky. As usual, I went to drop off Yiga a cup of coffee. I saw her 10-year-old daughter Rachel and patted on her head but I got no response from her. "Are you alright?" I asked. "I am ok..." said Rachel, continuing her scribbling on a book. Clearly she was not ok. "Call me on my cell phone, we talk, all right?"

A couple of hours later, I called her. At the beginning, she didn't want to talk to me about what was bothering her. "All right, I am here if you want to talk. But you know I am nosy, maybe you could do me a favor by telling me and satisfying my curiosity..." So she did start talking.

She really wanted to go to a party that everybody in her class was talking about. She knew (she used the word "guaranteed") that her Dad would NOT let her go and miss her Tea Kwon Do class. Her Dad already rejected her request once before with emphasis on "permanency" (her word again). So she kept quiet and clouded with her little unhappiness.

Here is what I said to her:

First of all, your Daddy didn't even know that you wanted to go. He is not the one to blame. Even he knew and he rejected your request again, still he is not his fault. It's in his right to approve or reject your request because he is your Dad. He is the one who pays for your class, and takes to the class or the party.

What I want to say though, is that you should have been more open and brave and reasonable enough to come forward with your request. Make the best shot at it. You know how many times in your life that you will have to ask, to persuade and to beg for yourself or for your community. No request is too ridiculous if you think you already present your best case. Meanwhile, be prepared to be brave and accept the rejection. It's in your right to ask, but it's in other's right to decide...

I made my point. She got my piont. The sky was all cleared after some clouds and showers. I cannot really tell if she made my day or I made hers.

Back to Normalcy

A quick note to praise Sienna for her good nature.

As things were clearing up for Sienna health wise, I put the evening TV ban back in effect. Sienna turned the TV off herself after watching our favourite "4 Squares". Maybe she had enough of it already for the past 3 days. Also last night, we decided to send her back to her own bed after three nights. She went without incident, not even a question about the decision. She had a nice hot shower. We read the books "I tell the Truth" twice, and "Sister's Stage Fright" from Berenstein Bears Series once. I put her music on. After the "good night" kiss and hug, she went right away. I went to flip channels on TV, following up the speculations about Martha Stewart getting out of prison after midnight.

Birthday in March

Sienna had been waiting for her birthday in March for a long long time. She overheard someone mentioning it was March on the first day of March. So she came to question me about why she still didn't have her birthday yet. I said you have to wait for another 18 days. That's a real test on an otherwise quite patient Sienna.

We are going to have a party on the 20th of March. I would really like to invite kids from her class to the party. This is not going to happen, maybe never. As her birthday would always fall into the March Break when a lot of kids would be away or have other plans. We will just have to get what we have among friends. There would still be close to 30 people, kids and grown ups all together. It's going to be a fun party.

Rating TV Shows

This was one of the things we did yesterday while attending the stomach ailment. I went through a list of pre-schooler programs that Sienna watches regularly and asked her to rate them.

I don't use TV for baby-sitting and she goes to school full time. TV viewing is banned for her in the evenings during the weekdays. Saturday is occupied with a full day of activities. So in retrospective, I don't know how she managed to watch all these on this incomplete list. And I don't know how she managed to sing or ham every single theme song of these programs. Now she came up with some quite accurate evaluation of her likes and dislikes, statistically.

Angelina Ballerina
Based on the enormously popular books by Helen Craig and Katherine Holabird, it's about a remarkable little mouse dreaming of becoming a ballerina and a better person... Like what Angelina has, Sienna asked Dad to make her a ribbon with pencil as the stick.

Backyardigan
Another program from Nick Jr. An animated musical series. 4 little friends use their imaginations to transform their backyard into a 3-D landscape, and together they embark on amazing epic journeys. Very good colors and music.

Babar
A moral elephant character preaches the animal kingdom through a series of incidents in and around human housing facilities. It bores me. The same to Sienna, I figured. One star is a good enough compliment. Mommy is with you on this one.

Barney
Sienna used to like it better. I guess she is growing out of it. And I am happy about it. Never a Barney fan myself. Don't like the image. Don't like his flawless preaching. To me, "B" as in Barney somehow fits the profile of the kind of social deviant that starts with a letter "P". Dare me! Devil me!

Bear in the Big Blue House
Sienna watches this a lot because it's on at the dinner time. Interesting that she only gave it a 3-star rating. That's the one where Sienna talked back to the character on TV saying something like, "Hey, your baby brother is not real. He is gonna be a toy just like you." Looks like she did rate according to her taste not to her habit.

Berestain Bears
An ideal happy bear family with 2 kids living in an almost ideal bear country community. Sienna has a whole collection of books by Stan & Jan Berenstain. And she loves the pink-dressed Sister Bear character. Surprised me that's all the stars she wanted to give.

Big Comfy Couch 
Things that happen around a couch where Loonete and her dolly sit around all day long. Have to get back on this one. I forgot to ask her rate this one.

Blue's Clues
A fair judgement. A bit too juvenile for Sienna's taste.

Bob the builder
Sienna doesn't get to watch much of it. But every time she does, she likes it.

Boohbah
Very accurate rating. Teletubbie-like, but much much less likeable. It really turned Sienna off when they come to greet her Sunday morning. She would change a channel to watch "Sagwa, the Chinese simese Cat" on TVO Kids

Corduroy Bear
A special friendship between a little black girl named Lisa and her corduroy bear, set in her high-rise apartment residence. This is where Lisa got teased as ""Lisa, pizza." Prompted by that, I teased Sienna "Sienna, banana." And she teased me back, "Mama, pasta."

Crazy Quilt
Sienna loves any craft show including a cooking show on Channel 8.

Dora the Explorer
Currently, the overly-popular show about how Dora and her best bud, Boots the monkey, explore the world together in north pole, volcanoes, beaches and even a huge rain forest.

Dragon
A claymation series about Dragon and his animal friends. She watches every day at dinner time. But that's all she can give. And I can see why.

Farzzle's World
One of my favorites. I wish she could have rated it higher. It's an animated series that presents the everyday world of Farzzle, its a 2-year-old sole character, from his point-of-view. Simple and clean lines. Witty.

Four Square
I love, love this show. So does sienna. An interactive show that allows pre-schoolers to explore four separate art forms: song, rhythm, poetry and dance. 4 Segments include the Do-Whahs in the song segment; the Beat Team doing patting, clapping and stamping in the rhythm segment; Toronto poet laureate, Dennis Lee reciting the fun-filled poems in the poetry segment; and the energetic dance troupe, Corpus, in the movement segment. Our 3-memeber family experienmented a song segment with Rachel when she was riding in our car. Rachel was the director.

Litlle Bear
Little Bear explores the world under his mother's watchful eye. Curiosity and imagination lead to exploration, experience and independence with his little animal and human friends. Not very exciting. I understand her rating on this one.

Madeline
The one most favorite show of hers right now, even though she only gets it sometimes. She would have given it 10 stars if allowed. She loves the original book and can recite it in entirety.

Max & Ruby
My all time favorite as well by Rosemary Wells. Sienna loves it too. I made especial comments on Max & Ruby here.

Mole Sisters
Gentle adventures by the very gentle mole sisters. Very nice and quiet. Gets a bit lonely when you watch too much of it.

This is Daniel Cook
A live action pre-school series that follows it's six-year-old host, Daniel Cook everywhere. He explores, learns, and creates with everyone from chocolatiers to musicians, and from firefighters to dog trainers. Very original idea. But I just don't think Daniel Cook is cute enough; he might be smart and everything.

Timothy Goes to School
An enthusiastic five-year-old raccoon's adventure when he goes to the kindergarten for the very first time. By the same author of Max & Rubby. Don't understand why this one is so far behind in its charm and appeal. Sienna gave a 3. I would give about 1 or 2, the most.

Wiggles
I am very pleased that Sienna made the right choice between Wiggles(5) and Barney(4).