I've Come a Long Way
We drove F out of town to the university where she will start her study in Canada tomorrow. It's a small town with a population of 130,000. Among the thousands of bungalows, we found the house the school has arranged for her home stay. The hostess was at work. So her son greeted us. He usually lives away. It would be just the hostess and F in the house.
We helped to get the suitcases into the house. The place was clean but clustered -- like an antique store. But none of the items looked valuable enough as to be considered a piece of antique. It felt like, for the last 20 years or so, nothing has been moved in and nothing has been moved out of that house. Knowing where F is coming from, I almost felt guilty that I had to be the one sending her to such an environment even it might be good for her.
Meanwhile, I had major flash-back about a decade and half ago when I came to this country. Not bad situation at all: I had a full scholarship from the university. The $1,500 in my pocket was astronomical compared to other students from China at that time. Now years and years later, that $1,500 is not even enough for the money we spend on Sienna alone every month.
I still don't say that I am ambitious in my worldly pursuits. I didn't have a big Canadian dream to fulfill. I didn't even think it was possible to ever own a little house like that. As always, I only looked at the ground in front of me. The idea of winning doesn't interest me, or in fact, it frightens me. But the idea of not to fail keeps me very well alive and makes me enjoy the moments I have in hand. The mere sense of survival could actually take one quite far.
It is not tasteful to talk about the house and the car one owns. But as an indicator, wow, I realized I've come such a long way. I never thought about it in such way if I didn't drive such a long way today to help out. F is certainly in an even better position than I was at that time. I pray she will find her way out of that bungalow very soon.
We helped to get the suitcases into the house. The place was clean but clustered -- like an antique store. But none of the items looked valuable enough as to be considered a piece of antique. It felt like, for the last 20 years or so, nothing has been moved in and nothing has been moved out of that house. Knowing where F is coming from, I almost felt guilty that I had to be the one sending her to such an environment even it might be good for her.
Meanwhile, I had major flash-back about a decade and half ago when I came to this country. Not bad situation at all: I had a full scholarship from the university. The $1,500 in my pocket was astronomical compared to other students from China at that time. Now years and years later, that $1,500 is not even enough for the money we spend on Sienna alone every month.
I still don't say that I am ambitious in my worldly pursuits. I didn't have a big Canadian dream to fulfill. I didn't even think it was possible to ever own a little house like that. As always, I only looked at the ground in front of me. The idea of winning doesn't interest me, or in fact, it frightens me. But the idea of not to fail keeps me very well alive and makes me enjoy the moments I have in hand. The mere sense of survival could actually take one quite far.
It is not tasteful to talk about the house and the car one owns. But as an indicator, wow, I realized I've come such a long way. I never thought about it in such way if I didn't drive such a long way today to help out. F is certainly in an even better position than I was at that time. I pray she will find her way out of that bungalow very soon.
posted by minimum at
3:02 PM
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