Be Myself to Be a Mother
I was out with Yiga again. This time, we left the kids behind for a couple of hours so that we could run some errands. We were having fun chatting. Yiga reassured me about the progress in Sienna’s piano. I told her how Sienna and I studied the music sheet together making all kinds of signs and notes. According to her, the way we handle the music will make it so much easier when it gets harder in the lessons. It was absolutely precious that Sienna is so much into music in her day to day life. Yiga is very impressed with how she blends in her emotions when she plays.
Another note for today is about how to be a mother. When you love someone so much, it feels almost no effort even you give up everything for the kids. However, the efforts don’t usually add up to what you want them to be. Some mothers say, “I don’t have expectations.” Well, when you do so much, you raise the expectation automatically. In order to look at the motherhood from a different perspective, we should try not to be so self-important for a change. There is a reason in the saying that kids grow up any ways. Instead of growing the kids, we watch them grow and help them when they need for their growing. And very importantly, we need to grow with them. We need to minimize the trouble in the growing up.
I want Sienna to know that I WILL give my life to her at a heart beat. But I want to help her so that she can help herself. I want to make an effort to make raising her as effortless as possible. I don’t want her to feel that I suffer or sacrifice because of her. I want to be a mother who is very much herself and funny. I get pleasure by solving problems instead of being troubled by them. When there is no solution to a problem after trying, I can live with a peace of mind. I want to be a good company of my daughter, not just a guardian. I don’t even mean to be a role model for her. I just want to give her an example as how a human energy can be played out as such. Despite the society’s effort to make me as anybody else through education and socialization, I can still enjoy the luxury of feeling so special and unique in my own right, the luxury of making mistakes and the luxury of laughing at other and myself.
Another note for today is about how to be a mother. When you love someone so much, it feels almost no effort even you give up everything for the kids. However, the efforts don’t usually add up to what you want them to be. Some mothers say, “I don’t have expectations.” Well, when you do so much, you raise the expectation automatically. In order to look at the motherhood from a different perspective, we should try not to be so self-important for a change. There is a reason in the saying that kids grow up any ways. Instead of growing the kids, we watch them grow and help them when they need for their growing. And very importantly, we need to grow with them. We need to minimize the trouble in the growing up.
I want Sienna to know that I WILL give my life to her at a heart beat. But I want to help her so that she can help herself. I want to make an effort to make raising her as effortless as possible. I don’t want her to feel that I suffer or sacrifice because of her. I want to be a mother who is very much herself and funny. I get pleasure by solving problems instead of being troubled by them. When there is no solution to a problem after trying, I can live with a peace of mind. I want to be a good company of my daughter, not just a guardian. I don’t even mean to be a role model for her. I just want to give her an example as how a human energy can be played out as such. Despite the society’s effort to make me as anybody else through education and socialization, I can still enjoy the luxury of feeling so special and unique in my own right, the luxury of making mistakes and the luxury of laughing at other and myself.
posted by minimum at
11:49 AM
2 Comments:
Well said.. as always.. Min..!
By
Anonymous, at 4:05 PM
Hi, Mama Bok, the being self part is harder to do but not the less important. we need to remind each other for that.
By
minimum, at 4:57 AM
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